Thank Merlin I'm Sexy
by MaineHalfBlood
Summary: Sequel to 'Serendipity Not'. Draco takes Hermione on a date, trying to impress her, he makes a fool out of himself.


A/N: A Dramione sequel to my 'Serendipity Not'. If you still haven't read it, I suggest reading that first but this could be an independent story. Enjoy! and please forgive the fact that I edited what happened during Hagrid's class in third year. I know that he listened but please ignore it for the sake of the story. Thank you! and once more, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Summary:

Sequel to 'Serendipity Not'. Draco takes Hermione on a date, trying to impress her, he makes a fool out of himself.

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**_Thank Merlin I'm Sexy_**

Draco Lucius Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy throne and Mr. 'Imsosexy', was quietly freaking out in the corner of his room. He was panicking, trying so hard of ways to impress Hermione. Sadly, he only thought of three.  
_  
1. Bring Hermione to a bookstore._  
_2. Buy the entire establishment for her._  
_3. Wing it. _

Looking at his list again, Draco was visited with a very strong urge to mutter the words 'Avada Kedavra' all the while pointing his own wand at his temple. He needs to make this day perfect, there is no way in bloody hell could he afford to _'wing it'._Getting desperate, he considered the idea of actually asking Mrs. Pothead for advice. They were surprisingly good friends now, though the habit of name-calling was one he didn't dare break. Standing up, Draco looked at the clock, It was now 3:30 in the bloody afternoon.

He skipped breakfast and lunch trying to plan this thing. His date with Hermione is starting in thirty minutes, and he isn't even ready yet. Gazing at the clock once more, Draco comes to a very painful realization, he's gonna have to wing it. Eyes widening slightly, he sends a silent prayer to whoever's listening.

'Have mercy on my soul.'

o-O-o

Apparating just outside of Hermione's flat, Draco nervously straightens his clothes and fingers the bouquet of flowers pressed on his back before knocking on the mahogany door.

The door opened and out came Hermione, with all her gryffindor and bookworm glory, looking as beautiful as ever. For a moment they just stood there, staring at each other, taking the other one in. Then the moment ended and Hermione seemed to be aware of her lack of manners. She flushed slightly, much to Draco's amusement. Well, who could blame her really, just try staring at the one you like, _like, _and see if you won't blush. Beaming up at him, still flushing, she went aside to give him space.

"Come in, come in" she ushered him "Oh and thank you for the flowers Draco, could you put them in the vase? I'll just be a moment"

Hearing the infamous 'It won't take 5 minutes' made Draco freeze. Women were known for taking long when it came to this stuff. One time he saw something on the muggle contraption that Hermione owned, a still picture of the bones of a man, with the caption that said 'she said she'll only take 5 minutes'. So you could say Draco had kind of feared the phrase. trying to calm down, he did what Hermione asked him to do then went to sit into her living room watching as Hermione went upstairs into her room. Draco looks around wildly, feeling as if the walls are enclosing around him. Breathing hard as he hears the _tick tock _of the clock.

Has it always been _this_ suffocating at Hermione's home?

_tick tock_

Or maybe it's because of the new carpet she got.

_tick tock_

Nevertheless he feels restless.

_tick tock_

Or maybe it's because of the date?

_ding _

The clock stroked four, out of surprise Draco leaps to his feet. Chuckling when he realized how silly he was acting. Hermione then comes down, smiling when she saw Draco laughing. "Draco" she called out to him, taking notice of her, Draco held out his hand "Ready?" he asked. Hermione nodded, took his hand and then she went into a sidelong apparation to Diagon Alley. Looking around Hermione realized they were in front of Flourish and Blotts, so she looks at Draco, wondering what he's planning.

Draco noticing that Hermione's looking at him, nervously licks his lips. He decided to go with phase number 1, which is, _take Hermione to a bookstore. _Although he would do number one, he decided to scratch out number 2, thinking that Hermione won't like it if he spoils her too much. Taking a glance to the gorgeous witch beside him, Draco held out his arm to his side, then bowed low.

"Shall we go in, my lovely lady?" he asked her

"Why certainly good sir." she answered, riding along.

Holding out the door open for her, Draco noticed the books on sale, after pondering for a second Draco decides to go with phase number 3; _wing it. _First he needed to get Hermione's undivided attention, so Draco did the only logical thing he could think of. He kissed Hermione's cheek, thinking it would get her sole attention, and get it he did. flushing, Hermione turned to him, although she was tomato red she was still smiling and Draco took it as a good sign.

"What?" she asked.

Knowing that nothing else could distract her now, Draco pointed to a copy of _the monster book of monsters. _He plans to impress her with his knowledge on opening the book, not knowing that Hagrid taught them on their 3rd year because he wasn't listening. He notices that Hermione looks confused, well not to worry. He plans on enlightening her soon. He gives her a cocky grin, one that made her heart race, then walked closer to the book.

"Watch as I, the great Draco Malfoy, opens this thing" he tells her, smirking. Hermione then looks amused, she realized that Draco didn't know that she already learned how to years ago so she smiles and lets him have his way. So she watches as Draco makes his way over to the book, watches as he bends near the book, and expects him to stroke the book's spine. What Hermione didn't expect was for him to pound the book, why? His reasoning is that if he beated it enough, the book will grow limp.

So Draco was scared beyond belief when instead of limping, the book gained more energy and bit his arm. It bit his arm! And throughout the ordeal, Hermione as well as the manager, watches horrified as the book bites Draco's arm off. Draco, meanwhile, was flailing around, trying to shake it off, yelling profanities at the book. After 15 minutes of flailing, Draco finally managed to shake the book off, with Hermione's help of course, but gained a bite mark on his forearm. Deciding that the date has gone terribly and that Hermione must have been having the worst date of her life, he decided to end it.

"Hermione-" he started.

"Come with me." she cut him off. Grabbing his arm, she apparates to her flat and orders him to sit on the couch\. She was pissed, didn't he have enough sense in him to not do that? she asks,looking at the blonde man again, she notices how sad and disappointed her date looks, so she decided to cut him some slack this time. Healing his arm, she notices how fidgety he is.

Draco's ashamed of himself, he already ruined their date, but here he was, being healed by her. Draco knew he should apologize, but he can't seem to get the timing right. She was almost done healing his arm, deciding that it was now or never, he gathered courage and tried to speak up.

"Hermione see, about what happened- i totally didn't know that- I-I mean who would have thought that it- What I'm trying to say is-"

"Just say it Draco" she mutters, not taking her gaze of his arm.

"I'm sorry!" he says bluntly "I didn't mean to ruin our date!" he was sweating, he knew. Closing his eyes as he awaits Hermione's answer, he was very surprised to hear her chuckling.

"You didn't ruin it" she said causing Draco to cast her a confused gaze. "It was very amusing to watch as Draco Malfoy flails about with a book biting his arm" she tells him with a smirk, causing Draco to flush.

"Hey!"

"But don't worry" she tells him "You were still hot while doing so" then she grabs his clothes and kisses him right on.

As they make out, Draco could only think of one thing.

_Thank Merlin I'm sexy _

**_End_**

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A/N: Thank you for reading! I hoped you enjoyed it! To those willing to review, thank you!


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